My Bridal Manifesto

Today is October 22, 2010, and I'll be getting married in a year. We haven't set a date yet, but we're still thinking about sometime between late summer and the leaf season here in Western NC. I'm excited, thrilled, and ridiculously happy.
And I have a confession to make.
Ever since I first had an inkling that Johnny wanted me to be his main squeeze long-term, I've been looking forward to the day when I could think about wedding stuff "legally." Ah, there was the thrill of covertly reading through posts on WeddingBee on my laptop every once in a while, with Johnny playing Red Dead Redemption blissfully unaware of the craft store DIY machinations taking root inside my mind just a couch away. I think he's guessed that secret, because in the less-than-a-week since he put the ring on my finger, he's already heard about what I envision doing with silk leaves and florist wire and heard about the five or so theme ideas battling it out in my mind. But for the most part, then, I kept my wedding-dreaming to as much of a minimum as I could, feeling like it was better to enjoy dating rather than to get ahead of myself (but it was hard.)
Now I feel like a race-horse ready to spring out of the gate, ready to plan the heck out of a wedding that will host (most likely) at least 250 people, because we both have ginormous extended families. It's a challenge I feel excited to take on, even as it scares the poo out of me.
But engagement didn't erase everything I promised myself and learned during my days as a lady in waiting. I learned from watching a friend go through the early stages of planning her wedding and from another friend's fantastically offbeat wedding. I learned from conversations with my awesome Mom. I learned from my own values of practicality. I learned from praying. And I want to set out my goals for myself as a bride as I get ready to take on a fantastic, exciting, beautiful challenge of a year.

Mere's Bridal Manifesto

• I will do my best to act out of kindness, consideration, grace, and love in all aspects of pre-wedding stuff. I won't go into the details of what I've seen brides-to-be do -- I mean, everybody knows some good bridezilla stories. The heart of what I want is for those around me -- the family I know and love and the family I will be joining, as well as the friends Johnny and I hold dear -- to remember me as a bride who "knows how to act," as my Granny would say. I want to remember that my friendships are more important to my friends than a wedding is. I want to remember that my Mom is my mother more than she is a mother-of-the-bride. I want people and relationships to come before centerpieces and coordinated colors. You get the gist. There's no other time when you're on display more than as a bride-to-be, and I want to represent myself so that people will remember me focusing on the love, not the stress. And really... I want to focus on the love, not the stress! Which brings me to...
• I will do my best to remember the big picture. To me, the big picture is that... dude... we're getting married. Johnny and I love each other enough to give our lives to each other, and to give our connected lives and relationship to God. It's a three-part union (at least for us), and I want this time to be used to build that union. I want to grow closer to my husband-to-be and to God and not let the planning make me forget that that's what's important.
• I will do my best to approach challenges with creativity and an open mind. I've already experienced the bridal freakout feeling when I realized just how many people will be involved in this wedding. It was my first occasion when I did panic for a few minutes -- before I remembered that getting that worked up is unneccessary, and that I can find creative solutions for how to feed and host what might feel more like an army of Spartans than a family wedding. I know I'm capable of figuring out how to adjust to about anything -- I want to remember that I can!

I NOW... PRONOUNCE YOU... MAN AND WIFE!
• I will not cave in to the pressures of the Wedding Industrial Complex. What is the Wedding Industrial Complex, you ask? ("Here is a resource!" says your friendly bride-librarian. Bridebrarian? Oh snap. That's me.) I bought one copy of Bride magazine just to prove to myself that going "traditional" wedding industry isn't my thang. And I was pretty much right. My reactions are a lot like those of Toots in the article. There are a lot of traditional elements I like -- I will be wearing a fantastic ivory dress, I will tell you that. But when it comes to sit-down meals and favors and escort cards, that just doesn't hold any feeling for me. I may not be as offbeat a bride as some of the fantastically awesome brides I love to read about, but I have a feeling that the Hayes wedding is going to be a wonderfully individual mix of things that are just right for us, our friends, and our family and not be beholding to "tradition."

There they are -- my goals. It feels a little surreal to actually put them down, after having mulled them over for months while I wondered if I'd be waiting for this until the year 4027. I put them out here for y'all to keep myself accountable. If you're reading this, consider it my promise to you, whether you're a family member, a friend, or just some awesome internet-reader.
Alright. HAYES FUTURE OF AWESOMENESS -- ENGAGE!
Meredith out.
Rock on :)