With about 5 months to go, I've started having some pretty crazy wedmares at night (that's my crafty term for "wedding nightmares"). Last night, I dreamed that the wedding party showed up at the church before the ceremony, but everything was going too fast and no one was having time to get ready. For some reason, I wasn't in my dress (but my bridesmaid friend who just got married was in hers), and the ceremony had already started while I was trying to get ready. Bridesmaid-friend decided she'd just "do it for me" and go through the ceremony since she was already wearing her gown! Then we skipped to the reception, which was being held in our old high school football stadium, where there was a conga line that went around the entire length of the field and seemed to never end. You can tell that I'm starting to think a lot about how this is all going to come together. I'm not feeling anxious or nervous about it on a conscious level, at least at this point, but just knowing that it's somewhere in the back of my mind (especially since I've been having these dreams ever since getting back from the other wedding) has made me want to get my ducks in a row.
So I made the To Do list to end all To Do lists. It's broken down by months, and I keep it in an online document so I can add links, access it anywhere, and won't lose it if my computer breaks or anything -- but mostly I keep it online so I can update it (and use the strikethrough font when I check something off. That feels so satisfying.). Here's my list for the remainder of May:
May:
Put [special surprise for Johnny] together
Buy tablecloths
Buy burlap/jute for runners
Buy paper plates/cups/silverware
Buy freeze-dried rose petals
Buy flower girl basket materials
Put together flower girl baskets
Find “H” for unity candle
Add finishing touches/opener to card box
Print wedding fingerprint tree (and sign)
Buy frame and ink pads
Decide on cake flavor/s
Decide on “menu”
Figure out tea recipes
Have bridal portrait taken
These things fall (mostly) into two categories - things to buy and things to decide. Most of the buying is stuff I plan to do online - I've shopped around for the best deals I can find on what I want, so the hard part's done. One trip to Michaels could take care of the rest. Now, I'm just holding off to double-check and talk through things with Johnny and Mom. Which I haven't seemed to get around to doing in a while. Actually, I keep skipping ahead on the list - which can also be a good thing - like last night, when I did some more research reading Tripadvisor reviews of Charleston-area hotels.
At least I feel like I have a plan, which feels good :)
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Our Dads are amazing...
Something completely unexpected and awesome happened last night. And this is how it happened.
I was already feeling pretty good about my Ebay money-making plans and had taken a close look at our budget to check some stuff (which usually makes me get a surge of confidence, just because it lets me see the solid details of what's going on with the wedding money). I got home from my night shift, made a pot of black beans and rice, plopped down on the couch to nibble at mine while Johnny was outside talking with his Dad, who had just pulled up in the driveway, when I got a phone call from my own father. And this is how it went - at least in a condensed, loose form.
Dad: So, how was your weekend down in the hot country?
Me: It was great! We had a great time [insert some exposition here]...
Dad: I bet you did - I stopped byMommy-doodle* you Mom's house yesterday, she said you all had been gone since Thursday. I bet that was expensive!
Me: Yeah... we ended up spending about half of what our own wedding is going to cost [embarrassed laugh]
Dad: Wow! But... so you know how much your wedding is going to cost?
Me: Yep, I've got it all budgeted out.
Dad: Really? What have you figured out so far?
Me: Almost everything - I didn't want to have any surprises when it came to the money I'm spending on stuff so I'd know how much I'd need to save and when I'd need it available. [Insert long description of our entire budget because Dad loooooooves talking line items and looooooves it when you do a DIY project to save money on making stuff. Even though his DIY projects are more along the lines of home and car repair than fabric flowers, he sees the big picture on those.]
Dad: I am so proud of you! You've got this all figured out... and if you need anything, you just let me know. You're my only daughter, and if there's anything you want that you think you don't have money for, I'll be here to help with whatever you need. If you need a couple thousand dollars up front, I can do that, too, just give me a month or two...
Me: [Stunned. Flabbergasted. Rush of appreciative thank yous. More stun.]
I never, ever, ever, ever would have outright asked my Dad for money for the wedding, and I didn't ever expect him to offer - I'd just been thinking that he was off in Dad-land where he wouldn't think of any of that stuff. And I was thrilled with the conversation in two ways that meant just as much to me as the offer of any help - the fact that he got really interested and excited in it (when I never expected him to) and the fact that he was proud of me and wanted to help. That means more to me than money any day, ever :D
I was so excited to tell Johnny - we both felt ridiculously relieved, and we realized that we can probably still do what we want without having to ask for anything, but just knowing that I won't have to choose between tablecloths and having petals for the flower girls to throw makes me happy! And then he shared his good news - his Dad had struck upon a brilliant idea. You know how we'd been interested in a potluck before we got run over by the tacky bus on the idea?
Johnny's Dad figured out that some folks his family (and ours, too...) would love to bring food and are great cooks, so we could just make up a list of the foods we'd like folks to bring and people can volunteer to fix them. That way we won't get a random assortment, but people still get to help out and make those their gifts to us. Sounds like a winner to me!
So HOORAY for our wonderful Dads who fix the things we worry about when we're totally not expecting it. Dads are the awesomest - especially mine :)
* He calls her Mommy-doodle... and I'm Merrie-doodle. Oh, Dad :)
I was already feeling pretty good about my Ebay money-making plans and had taken a close look at our budget to check some stuff (which usually makes me get a surge of confidence, just because it lets me see the solid details of what's going on with the wedding money). I got home from my night shift, made a pot of black beans and rice, plopped down on the couch to nibble at mine while Johnny was outside talking with his Dad, who had just pulled up in the driveway, when I got a phone call from my own father. And this is how it went - at least in a condensed, loose form.
Dad: So, how was your weekend down in the hot country?
Me: It was great! We had a great time [insert some exposition here]...
Dad: I bet you did - I stopped by
Me: Yeah... we ended up spending about half of what our own wedding is going to cost [embarrassed laugh]
Dad: Wow! But... so you know how much your wedding is going to cost?
Me: Yep, I've got it all budgeted out.
Dad: Really? What have you figured out so far?
Me: Almost everything - I didn't want to have any surprises when it came to the money I'm spending on stuff so I'd know how much I'd need to save and when I'd need it available. [Insert long description of our entire budget because Dad loooooooves talking line items and looooooves it when you do a DIY project to save money on making stuff. Even though his DIY projects are more along the lines of home and car repair than fabric flowers, he sees the big picture on those.]
Dad: I am so proud of you! You've got this all figured out... and if you need anything, you just let me know. You're my only daughter, and if there's anything you want that you think you don't have money for, I'll be here to help with whatever you need. If you need a couple thousand dollars up front, I can do that, too, just give me a month or two...
Me: [Stunned. Flabbergasted. Rush of appreciative thank yous. More stun.]
I never, ever, ever, ever would have outright asked my Dad for money for the wedding, and I didn't ever expect him to offer - I'd just been thinking that he was off in Dad-land where he wouldn't think of any of that stuff. And I was thrilled with the conversation in two ways that meant just as much to me as the offer of any help - the fact that he got really interested and excited in it (when I never expected him to) and the fact that he was proud of me and wanted to help. That means more to me than money any day, ever :D
I was so excited to tell Johnny - we both felt ridiculously relieved, and we realized that we can probably still do what we want without having to ask for anything, but just knowing that I won't have to choose between tablecloths and having petals for the flower girls to throw makes me happy! And then he shared his good news - his Dad had struck upon a brilliant idea. You know how we'd been interested in a potluck before we got run over by the tacky bus on the idea?
 |
| POTLUCKS ARE TACKY BEEP BEEEEEP |
So HOORAY for our wonderful Dads who fix the things we worry about when we're totally not expecting it. Dads are the awesomest - especially mine :)
 |
| Us :) |
Monday, May 9, 2011
Friend's Wedding Redux
It's a quiet (for now) Monday night at the library, and I've returned from our grand adventure to the Palmetto state. It's taken a whole day, but I'm finally feeling rested and recuperated (at least physically -- definitely not fiscally). And here's the experience I had at my friend's wedding in South Carolina.
We arrived on Thursday with enough time to check in and relax in our room before meeting up with the rest of the wedding party and the groom's extended family at my friends' house. Johnny and I sat around drinking and playing Egyptian Rat Screw with the groomsmen (who were a bunch of fun guys!) until the bachelor/bachelorette funtimes started. And oh, what times were to be had. My friend and I got back to my hotel room at 1:30 a.m. after many drinks (including a "liquid marijuana" and an orange slushie made with Everclear called "Tiger In Your Tank"....). We ended the night with some dancing (I use this word loosely. It reminded me of that dance scene in Zion in The Matrix Reloaded...). There was some grinding involved. I believe that's what the kids are calling that these days? The Bride fell asleep on the chair in our room and didn't even wake up when Johnny came back at 4 a.m. But I did. And I felt sick as a dog. J walked me around outside the hotel to help me get some air, and we sat out on a bench on the street in Greenville before dawn, with me in my nightgown and his hoodie and sobered up. Good times. Well, not the drunk parts. But I can say that I've had enough bacheloretting to cover my wedding, too :P
Friday was full of many events, including me rushing around with a hangover trying to find a place to get my nails done at The Bride's behest. I did - and despite the cost, I enjoyed the heck out of my mani-pedi. I haven't had either since I got my new job (so, since July), so it was a good excuse to enjoy that (especially the massage chair).
Bride-friend was pretty stressed about the rehearsal, but we got a good look at her venue and I got to meet the rest of the groom's family (there were tons of them -- just a few folks from my friend's family). At this point, my suspicions were confirmed that J and I shared very little in common with these upper middle class Irish Catholic folks from Ohio, but we got along spectacularly with them anyway, so I was thrilled :) We then went to the rehearsal dinner at a restaurant called Smoke on the Water downtown. The food was some of the best I've ever had in my life, and I guarantee it was at least $50 per head with over 50 people in attendance. Hoooooo boy.
The wedding day went by in a blur. My friend was wonderfully not-stressed, but I felt like I didn't do as good a job as an MoH as I could because I noticed that pretty much any time I opened my mouth, she wasn't going to be receptive to anything I had to say (mostly in the form of looking at me like I was stupid), so I kept my talking to a minimum. But - at the same time, I realized just how much I've reinforced her attitude in that way over the past year. Any time that I've felt the tension between us rising, my strategy for dissipating it has been "just own up to whatever it is being your fault, whether it really is or not, just accept responsibility for it and play it off like you've been dumb." And guess what -- that really does make people think you're dumb. Lesson learned. Not sure how I'm going to get myself out of this, but at least I'm seeing what's going on now. And keeping quiet did help her stay grounded, I think, and kept my mouth from getting me into trouble, so it turned out to be a good decision.
The wedding was beautiful - very lavish, coordinated with perfect smoothness, and I couldn't believe how little my friend actually had to worry about. Makeup and hair people came to her! Her transportation came to her! Cake and food and liquor and decor and flowers magically appeared at the venue! A trolley even came to take all the drunk people and the wedding party back to the hotel! It really was dream-worthy. I see why brides pay to have these things taken care of. I think that's what I got the most jealous of the whole time. But it was so much fun and I was so happy for them that it didn't really phase me :) I felt really free once the wedding rolled around, knowing that the whole process leading up to it was finally off my shoulders and that the situation was coming to fruition. I saw how all of her stress and hard work and even her friction with others had produced a day and an event that was pretty freakin' fantastic. Still not sure how I'm digesting that. I mean, I don't think being mean to people = getting what you want. Mostly, I'm just taking away the good memories and closing the door on this chapter of stuff in my life. It was the best way I ever could have imagined it ending - better than the best way, even. It was one Really, Really Good Time.
I definitely experienced some bride-envy in that form - the form of "dang, I know I could never afford _________," whether that blank is filled in with "food like this," or "tablecloths," or whathaveyou. It doesn't help that this trip completely broke me. I'm living off a loan from Mom until my next payday. I added it up and realized that I've spent over $2K on someone else's wedding. That's kind of rough, when that's almost half my own wedding's budget. But at the same time, I've been getting some ideas for making a little extra money, or at least recouping the damages this did to our wedding budget. Hellooooo selling all my Paganalia on Ebay and putting some old furniture on the local Swap Shop radio program! I think I can recoup at least $500 -- maybe more, if my family members have anything to donate to the cause. And I'm thinking about trying a new grocery shopping/cooking strategy to spend less than $200 a month on food, which might help me put away another $100 each month for the wedding.
A few more quick thoughts:
We arrived on Thursday with enough time to check in and relax in our room before meeting up with the rest of the wedding party and the groom's extended family at my friends' house. Johnny and I sat around drinking and playing Egyptian Rat Screw with the groomsmen (who were a bunch of fun guys!) until the bachelor/bachelorette funtimes started. And oh, what times were to be had. My friend and I got back to my hotel room at 1:30 a.m. after many drinks (including a "liquid marijuana" and an orange slushie made with Everclear called "Tiger In Your Tank"....). We ended the night with some dancing (I use this word loosely. It reminded me of that dance scene in Zion in The Matrix Reloaded...). There was some grinding involved. I believe that's what the kids are calling that these days? The Bride fell asleep on the chair in our room and didn't even wake up when Johnny came back at 4 a.m. But I did. And I felt sick as a dog. J walked me around outside the hotel to help me get some air, and we sat out on a bench on the street in Greenville before dawn, with me in my nightgown and his hoodie and sobered up. Good times. Well, not the drunk parts. But I can say that I've had enough bacheloretting to cover my wedding, too :P
Friday was full of many events, including me rushing around with a hangover trying to find a place to get my nails done at The Bride's behest. I did - and despite the cost, I enjoyed the heck out of my mani-pedi. I haven't had either since I got my new job (so, since July), so it was a good excuse to enjoy that (especially the massage chair).
Bride-friend was pretty stressed about the rehearsal, but we got a good look at her venue and I got to meet the rest of the groom's family (there were tons of them -- just a few folks from my friend's family). At this point, my suspicions were confirmed that J and I shared very little in common with these upper middle class Irish Catholic folks from Ohio, but we got along spectacularly with them anyway, so I was thrilled :) We then went to the rehearsal dinner at a restaurant called Smoke on the Water downtown. The food was some of the best I've ever had in my life, and I guarantee it was at least $50 per head with over 50 people in attendance. Hoooooo boy.
The wedding day went by in a blur. My friend was wonderfully not-stressed, but I felt like I didn't do as good a job as an MoH as I could because I noticed that pretty much any time I opened my mouth, she wasn't going to be receptive to anything I had to say (mostly in the form of looking at me like I was stupid), so I kept my talking to a minimum. But - at the same time, I realized just how much I've reinforced her attitude in that way over the past year. Any time that I've felt the tension between us rising, my strategy for dissipating it has been "just own up to whatever it is being your fault, whether it really is or not, just accept responsibility for it and play it off like you've been dumb." And guess what -- that really does make people think you're dumb. Lesson learned. Not sure how I'm going to get myself out of this, but at least I'm seeing what's going on now. And keeping quiet did help her stay grounded, I think, and kept my mouth from getting me into trouble, so it turned out to be a good decision.
The wedding was beautiful - very lavish, coordinated with perfect smoothness, and I couldn't believe how little my friend actually had to worry about. Makeup and hair people came to her! Her transportation came to her! Cake and food and liquor and decor and flowers magically appeared at the venue! A trolley even came to take all the drunk people and the wedding party back to the hotel! It really was dream-worthy. I see why brides pay to have these things taken care of. I think that's what I got the most jealous of the whole time. But it was so much fun and I was so happy for them that it didn't really phase me :) I felt really free once the wedding rolled around, knowing that the whole process leading up to it was finally off my shoulders and that the situation was coming to fruition. I saw how all of her stress and hard work and even her friction with others had produced a day and an event that was pretty freakin' fantastic. Still not sure how I'm digesting that. I mean, I don't think being mean to people = getting what you want. Mostly, I'm just taking away the good memories and closing the door on this chapter of stuff in my life. It was the best way I ever could have imagined it ending - better than the best way, even. It was one Really, Really Good Time.
I definitely experienced some bride-envy in that form - the form of "dang, I know I could never afford _________," whether that blank is filled in with "food like this," or "tablecloths," or whathaveyou. It doesn't help that this trip completely broke me. I'm living off a loan from Mom until my next payday. I added it up and realized that I've spent over $2K on someone else's wedding. That's kind of rough, when that's almost half my own wedding's budget. But at the same time, I've been getting some ideas for making a little extra money, or at least recouping the damages this did to our wedding budget. Hellooooo selling all my Paganalia on Ebay and putting some old furniture on the local Swap Shop radio program! I think I can recoup at least $500 -- maybe more, if my family members have anything to donate to the cause. And I'm thinking about trying a new grocery shopping/cooking strategy to spend less than $200 a month on food, which might help me put away another $100 each month for the wedding.
A few more quick thoughts:
- I saw the space-to-people ratio at my friend's venue and got a better idea of what's needed. We will have to get really, really lucky to fit all our folks into our church/fellowship hall. But if there's too many, we can always spread outside and go down to the river.
- Speaking of the river, if we do have a rehearsal dinner, it would be so much fun to have a picnic out back behind the church down there. Or maybe at a picnic area on the Parkway, or a local park. That's something that we could probably afford and that would be tasty and fun and awesome :D
- My flowers will indeed be awesome because they won't be wilting before the ceremony starts like my friends' were.
- I'm really excited about some of our details now - like our unity candles - that my friend didn't bother with. Though she had the ease of having stuff done for her, I would have been so sad to miss out on the fun and involvement of making a lot of the things I'm making - I feel like I'll have something to do with every part of our wedding, and that makes me happy.
- J and I are both thinking we do want at least one small cake. And J definitely wants disposable digital cameras spread around. I couldn't get much of a read on what else he liked/didn't like (he definitely doesn't respond when you ask him straight out "so what did you like?" -- just had to pick these things up when he'd come right out and say them with no prompting).
- I am free and clear with all my details - there will be no "stealing" involved :P The venue did provide some mason jars for people to drink out of and my friend was scandalized. When I drunkenly asked her (by then a little too far gone to remember that whole keeping my mouth shut thing) if she'd be mad if we had mason jars all over our wedding since we'd already planned on them, she was tactful enough not to tell me I was crazy and/or drunk and/or tacky. Hooray!
- I got inspired to think about wedding music (my friend's was traditional up to the end, when she blasted some AC/DC) and found a bunch of bluegrass-y things to run by Johnny for the ceremony. I so so so so so want our recessional to be an instrumental banjo version of Rocky Top now.
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| 80's HAIR! |
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
She's aliiiiiive!
It's been a bit of a wild two months. When I last left off the continuing story, I was getting ready to send in my Weddingbee application and had been posting here faster than a cheetah on crack. And then I went radio-silence on you all. So what happened?
I had something of an epiphany moment. Part of it started when riiiiiight as I was working on my application, the Weddingbee community imploded on itself a little bit. It's not something a reader would have noticed from just reading the posts by the vetted bloggers, but there was chaos on the boards for about a week while some things got settled. The situation involved a number of members (again, not the vetted bloggers, but general site members who posted in forums, like myself) who had been posting on a Sekrit Forum hosted by another website that was, essentially, wedding-world meets 4chan. Members were badmouthing other members behind their backs on the Sekrit Forum, coordinating attacks on certain thread topics, even threatening to take this mess IRL at member meetups. It's the way the internet works, but suddenly finding out that you've been made fun of behind your back (even by people you've never met and don't care about at all...) just makes a person feel... well... weird. It turned me off of doing a lot of communicating about stuff I'm working on, and definitely turned me off of the idea of applying to put my stuff and myself out there that publicly.
For the most part, I still feel like Weddingbee is a great and safe online community, but I just redirected a lot of my wedding-thinking-energy elsewhere for a while.
Where did I direct it, you might ask? Toward actually making stuff! Hooray!
I wish I had pictures of all the things I've made and found so far. That's been complicated by the fact that we've been having camera difficulties in the form of "we can't find Mom's charger, so it's been dead for two months." But for a basic list of things accomplished:
Something about being a shoestring budget bride that I come upon weekly, if not daily, are the conflicting ideas of "this is what makes a wedding." There's the stuff you see and the stuff that is. And a lot of times, what you see isn't an indicator of what is, and what is isn't something you can see. The isness of a wedding is a marriage - which is a ritual, an event, a covenant. You can witness that taking place, but can you see the things that happen in your heart and in your relationship when that event takes place? Nope. The stuff you see are the symbols that couples choose to evoke the feelings that they think go with the ritual event (can you tell I used to be Pagan here? :P)
But media and magazines can't make money off of talking about the isness. In fact, you really can't talk that much about the isness. It's not as easy to put words around as "this is a way to make a great centerpiece" and "let's look at the differences between these dresses." There are so many details surrounding the stuff you see, but the is? It just happens. And no amount of money or time spent on the stuff has an ounce of impact on that event whatsoever. It's just there for the mood. In reality, it should be the afterthought, the coda to the fact that two people are committing their lives to each other.
But it is kinda hard to deal with the stuff in that way when it does involve a lot of details, when you have a creative and aesthetic side that's wanting to play more than a kid with a box of 120 Crayolas, and when the nature of how people wrap their heads around things pushes the stuff side to the forefront.
Anyway. I've talked about this a ton before, and I'll probably talk about it more in the future. But enough of it for now.
And, on a totally stuff-related detail, we may end up with a caterer after all, if I can make sure to call her after I get back from South Carolina to talk with her. Johnny's dad had her food at a work event, said it was good, and found out that she only charges for the ingredients plus 10%. That's a good deal!
I'm sure I'll have some more thoughts and ramblings after returning from Becca's wedding this weekend. I'm not going to preface that here with any details about the experience I'm anticipating because I'm trying to go into this as much on an even keel as possible. Johnny knows how bad I've failed at that already, so I can at least try for you all. But if you've made it all the way through this War and Peace of a post, congratulations, and I'm glad to be writing again :D
I had something of an epiphany moment. Part of it started when riiiiiight as I was working on my application, the Weddingbee community imploded on itself a little bit. It's not something a reader would have noticed from just reading the posts by the vetted bloggers, but there was chaos on the boards for about a week while some things got settled. The situation involved a number of members (again, not the vetted bloggers, but general site members who posted in forums, like myself) who had been posting on a Sekrit Forum hosted by another website that was, essentially, wedding-world meets 4chan. Members were badmouthing other members behind their backs on the Sekrit Forum, coordinating attacks on certain thread topics, even threatening to take this mess IRL at member meetups. It's the way the internet works, but suddenly finding out that you've been made fun of behind your back (even by people you've never met and don't care about at all...) just makes a person feel... well... weird. It turned me off of doing a lot of communicating about stuff I'm working on, and definitely turned me off of the idea of applying to put my stuff and myself out there that publicly.
For the most part, I still feel like Weddingbee is a great and safe online community, but I just redirected a lot of my wedding-thinking-energy elsewhere for a while.
Where did I direct it, you might ask? Toward actually making stuff! Hooray!
I wish I had pictures of all the things I've made and found so far. That's been complicated by the fact that we've been having camera difficulties in the form of "we can't find Mom's charger, so it's been dead for two months." But for a basic list of things accomplished:
- Bridesmaids bouquets - are DONE! It's funny how once I got the flowers themselves made, the rest of the process just flew by. I'll do a photo step-by-step of the process of how I got from the flowers to the end product (which involves really heavy duty "gas resistant" wire...) when I do my own bouquet. I'm relieved to have them done - especially because all the flowers for the last two bouquets were barely saved from garbage dump doom after my Granny mistakenly took my cardboard box of them, thinking they were trash. (I don't think it was because they look like trash - it's the macular degeneration. I hope.).
- Card box - This project popped into my head in the middle of Michaels. I bought the stuff for it then and there, and it's almost complete. It's painted but still needs something attached to the lid to help folks open it. Workin' on that.
- I have not one but two projects that will end up being surprises for Johnny (so I can't talk about 'em...)
Something about being a shoestring budget bride that I come upon weekly, if not daily, are the conflicting ideas of "this is what makes a wedding." There's the stuff you see and the stuff that is. And a lot of times, what you see isn't an indicator of what is, and what is isn't something you can see. The isness of a wedding is a marriage - which is a ritual, an event, a covenant. You can witness that taking place, but can you see the things that happen in your heart and in your relationship when that event takes place? Nope. The stuff you see are the symbols that couples choose to evoke the feelings that they think go with the ritual event (can you tell I used to be Pagan here? :P)
But media and magazines can't make money off of talking about the isness. In fact, you really can't talk that much about the isness. It's not as easy to put words around as "this is a way to make a great centerpiece" and "let's look at the differences between these dresses." There are so many details surrounding the stuff you see, but the is? It just happens. And no amount of money or time spent on the stuff has an ounce of impact on that event whatsoever. It's just there for the mood. In reality, it should be the afterthought, the coda to the fact that two people are committing their lives to each other.
But it is kinda hard to deal with the stuff in that way when it does involve a lot of details, when you have a creative and aesthetic side that's wanting to play more than a kid with a box of 120 Crayolas, and when the nature of how people wrap their heads around things pushes the stuff side to the forefront.
Anyway. I've talked about this a ton before, and I'll probably talk about it more in the future. But enough of it for now.
And, on a totally stuff-related detail, we may end up with a caterer after all, if I can make sure to call her after I get back from South Carolina to talk with her. Johnny's dad had her food at a work event, said it was good, and found out that she only charges for the ingredients plus 10%. That's a good deal!
I'm sure I'll have some more thoughts and ramblings after returning from Becca's wedding this weekend. I'm not going to preface that here with any details about the experience I'm anticipating because I'm trying to go into this as much on an even keel as possible. Johnny knows how bad I've failed at that already, so I can at least try for you all. But if you've made it all the way through this War and Peace of a post, congratulations, and I'm glad to be writing again :D
Monday, March 7, 2011
A stroke of rough, raggedy genius
I've had post ideas building up over the weekend while I got a ton of things done. Mom has cupcake transporting boxes! I sorted out my thoughts on wedding makeup and got prepped for that hot mess! I dipped into the wedding fund and bought the materials to make a card box! I found gorgeous $3 dusty pink fabric at WalMart and it makes even more gorgeous flowers!
But noooo.... instead of blogging like a fiend all weekend, I just cleaned the kitchen and did four loads of laundry. However, that was a worthy accomplisment that needed accomplishing before I ran out of panties.
But -- while I'm sitting here at the library wondering where the battery charger is for our camera so I can get crackin' with some pics and blogging later this week, I started working with my budget outline some more and filling in the gaps that had been big ol' " "s in the spreadsheet until now. Maybe it's because I'm in a better mood, but I'm definitely feeling more up about what I can accomplish with a little creativity and savvy choices of materials.
One of those savvy choices has been that I've planned to get some burlap from the local tractor supply company to make runners with to jazz up the tables. As I was Googling average prices per yard on the stuff (I'm putting $6/yard in the budget as the maximum price but I see it cheaper), I threw a random "wedding" into my search and started seeing all kinds of awesome ways that you can use burlap in weddings. I could go burlap crazy if I wanted! I don't want to use it so much that it looks like we're getting married inside a huge potato sack, but I saw something that really caught my eye:
Dah!!! I'd been trying to think of some kind of bunting option because there are wonderfully placed sconce lights on the walls in the fellowship hall at HCC and they're just begging to be used for hanging stuff. I might just be able to use burlap scraps from the runners (or buy a little extra for not that much money) for a look I love.
If we were able to hang stuff from the ceiling (which would be too much work to pull off), I would soooo be trying to do this:
... which I could still hang from the wall sconces, but I'm not sure if it would look that great (and I wouldn't know how to hide the cords!). This is a design question that needs the input of a Mom, but I got excited and wanted to go all bloggy with it first.
But noooo.... instead of blogging like a fiend all weekend, I just cleaned the kitchen and did four loads of laundry. However, that was a worthy accomplisment that needed accomplishing before I ran out of panties.
But -- while I'm sitting here at the library wondering where the battery charger is for our camera so I can get crackin' with some pics and blogging later this week, I started working with my budget outline some more and filling in the gaps that had been big ol' " "s in the spreadsheet until now. Maybe it's because I'm in a better mood, but I'm definitely feeling more up about what I can accomplish with a little creativity and savvy choices of materials.
One of those savvy choices has been that I've planned to get some burlap from the local tractor supply company to make runners with to jazz up the tables. As I was Googling average prices per yard on the stuff (I'm putting $6/yard in the budget as the maximum price but I see it cheaper), I threw a random "wedding" into my search and started seeing all kinds of awesome ways that you can use burlap in weddings. I could go burlap crazy if I wanted! I don't want to use it so much that it looks like we're getting married inside a huge potato sack, but I saw something that really caught my eye:
 |
| From Cap Classique |
If we were able to hang stuff from the ceiling (which would be too much work to pull off), I would soooo be trying to do this:
 |
| From Inspired By This |
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Pondering a piece of plastic
This whole wedding-on-a-budget thing is great in theory. You know how theory works... where you plan out how much you can save each month, then calculate how much that will give you in the end, then congratulate yourself for being such a great saver and relish the thought of being able to afford those gorgeous and affordable dusty rose tablecloths.
"Ha!" says Life. "Guess who you forgot? Me."
Soooo... I was driving home from work yesterday, singin' along with some Toby Keith, when I hear POPflapflapflapflapflap. And I see that dangling from the driver's side of my windshield is a long piece of black plastic. Whatthecrap. I was almost home and it wasn't hanging out much, so I decided to see if I could make it. Part of why this was questionable is that last summer, the same thing happened on the passenger side, and the black plastic piece went flying off into the woods.
I get home and investigate it -- no sooner than I touch it does it crack right off at the base.
I'm left with a gaping chasm between the body of my car and the windshield on both sides, though at least it's filled in with some kind of black caulking glue-esque stuff. I think (from my research) that this is a piece of weatherstripping and it can be replaced and installed at your average auto body shop. But... yeah... that costs money.
And I overshot what I could put into my wedding savings this month and have $5 left in my checking account and $60 left on my credit card.
Baaaaaaallllllsssss.
I'm going to take some out of the wedding fund to live on/pay the repair bill for the next few weeks until I get paid again and be thankful that I get a good tax refund this year. But facing an unexpected expense yesterday got me thinking about all the other life expenses that I haven't been budgeting for -- things like a friend's bachelorette party and hotel expenses for her wedding, the increases in gas, how much it will cost for me to start fixing more fresh fruits and vegetables rather than Hamburger Helper.
I'm having to face the fact that I won't be able to save as much as I'd hoped for the wedding, rings, honeymoon, and all that jazz. But I've been pep-talking myself to keep from sinking into a pit of despair and thinking that we can't pull it off. I'm a determined, creative person, and I know that with the brains God gave me and the help that our wonderful families and friends offer, we can make a wedding that's awesome.
Something that this experience has made me realize is that you have to let go of worries at some point, somehow. I don't know if it matters how you do it -- whether you meditate or just relax or find something else to take your mind off it. I keep coming back to faith, holding onto trusting that if I save as much as I can and spend as wisely as I can, God will help us have a wedding. It doesn't have to have colored tablecloths or pro invitations, but it will be a wedding, where we can get married, which is the point of it all.
And that helps.
"Ha!" says Life. "Guess who you forgot? Me."
Soooo... I was driving home from work yesterday, singin' along with some Toby Keith, when I hear POPflapflapflapflapflap. And I see that dangling from the driver's side of my windshield is a long piece of black plastic. Whatthecrap. I was almost home and it wasn't hanging out much, so I decided to see if I could make it. Part of why this was questionable is that last summer, the same thing happened on the passenger side, and the black plastic piece went flying off into the woods.
I get home and investigate it -- no sooner than I touch it does it crack right off at the base.
 |
| Balls. (Also, that's frost on my windshield from this morning, not nastiness. Well, that's probably there, too.) |
And I overshot what I could put into my wedding savings this month and have $5 left in my checking account and $60 left on my credit card.
Baaaaaaallllllsssss.
I'm going to take some out of the wedding fund to live on/pay the repair bill for the next few weeks until I get paid again and be thankful that I get a good tax refund this year. But facing an unexpected expense yesterday got me thinking about all the other life expenses that I haven't been budgeting for -- things like a friend's bachelorette party and hotel expenses for her wedding, the increases in gas, how much it will cost for me to start fixing more fresh fruits and vegetables rather than Hamburger Helper.
I'm having to face the fact that I won't be able to save as much as I'd hoped for the wedding, rings, honeymoon, and all that jazz. But I've been pep-talking myself to keep from sinking into a pit of despair and thinking that we can't pull it off. I'm a determined, creative person, and I know that with the brains God gave me and the help that our wonderful families and friends offer, we can make a wedding that's awesome.
Something that this experience has made me realize is that you have to let go of worries at some point, somehow. I don't know if it matters how you do it -- whether you meditate or just relax or find something else to take your mind off it. I keep coming back to faith, holding onto trusting that if I save as much as I can and spend as wisely as I can, God will help us have a wedding. It doesn't have to have colored tablecloths or pro invitations, but it will be a wedding, where we can get married, which is the point of it all.
And that helps.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Goodbye, dear friend.
A sad, sad event occurred on Monday night. It was already taking place when I came in the door from work -- I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye.
It came about because Johnny got a new job, and new jobs mean changes. (Not only did he get one new job, but two! We found out that he's being transferred to the middle-man office of the newspaper conglomerate we work for, where he'll be doing IT support rather than layout and production. That's great and exciting! But then...)
He got a call on Saturday to come in for an interview at our local Ingles for some weekend work in the deli. They liked him (who wouldn't?) and it looked like he'd be making an extra $80 each week. Hooray! But then, the bad news -- all Ingles employees must be clean-shaven.
We stared at the electric razors for half an hour in Walmart on Saturday night as he decided whether or not to take the plunge. One really nice self-cleaning electric razor and some aftershave went in the cart, and he was all set -- if he decided to go through with it.
I loved Johnny's beard. It's been one of my favorite physical things about him ever since I first laid eyes on him at the newspaper (in high school, he was beard-less, but that was so long ago my memories are fuzzy). It's one of Johnny's favorite physical traits, too -- he was dang proud of that beard. He aspired to rock a beard like Billy Gibbons of ZZ Top one day.
But alas, his dream was shattered on Monday night, when he took the plunge and shaved it off.
I don't think either of us are quite used to it yet. He wouldn't even let me kiss him until this morning. I'm supporting him either way, whether he keeps it shaved and keeps working the deli job or whether he ends up deciding one 40-hours-a-week, hour-long-commute job is enough and lets it grow back. But I can't help but miss it, at least a little.
Oh beard... someday I'll see you again. I hope you'll join us for the wedding. I'll send you an invitation.
It came about because Johnny got a new job, and new jobs mean changes. (Not only did he get one new job, but two! We found out that he's being transferred to the middle-man office of the newspaper conglomerate we work for, where he'll be doing IT support rather than layout and production. That's great and exciting! But then...)
He got a call on Saturday to come in for an interview at our local Ingles for some weekend work in the deli. They liked him (who wouldn't?) and it looked like he'd be making an extra $80 each week. Hooray! But then, the bad news -- all Ingles employees must be clean-shaven.
We stared at the electric razors for half an hour in Walmart on Saturday night as he decided whether or not to take the plunge. One really nice self-cleaning electric razor and some aftershave went in the cart, and he was all set -- if he decided to go through with it.
I loved Johnny's beard. It's been one of my favorite physical things about him ever since I first laid eyes on him at the newspaper (in high school, he was beard-less, but that was so long ago my memories are fuzzy). It's one of Johnny's favorite physical traits, too -- he was dang proud of that beard. He aspired to rock a beard like Billy Gibbons of ZZ Top one day.
But alas, his dream was shattered on Monday night, when he took the plunge and shaved it off.
I don't think either of us are quite used to it yet. He wouldn't even let me kiss him until this morning. I'm supporting him either way, whether he keeps it shaved and keeps working the deli job or whether he ends up deciding one 40-hours-a-week, hour-long-commute job is enough and lets it grow back. But I can't help but miss it, at least a little.
Oh beard... someday I'll see you again. I hope you'll join us for the wedding. I'll send you an invitation.
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