Wedding Mythbuster: Myth #1

Myth #1: You should _______________ to look good for your wedding.

I've already talked about my personal struggle with one aspect of this myth -- the "you should lose weight for your wedding" aspect -- in a previous post. But just this week, I found out that there's actually an upcoming reality TV show on CW based entirely around it: Shedding for the Wedding, which looks pretty much like The Biggest Loser repackaged with engaged couples.

Show logo

I have issues with weight-loss reality TV in general -- as much as these shows talk about "healthy lifestyle transformation" and whatnot, I think the method of "whoever can lose the most the fastest wins" doesn't back up that message very well. But this show sounds a lot better than Bridalplasty. Even the producer of Shedding for the Wedding can't stand Bridalplasty, apparently.
I haven't watched Bridalplasty, but I'm pretty horrified by the idea of women competing in challenges to win free plastic surgery for their wedding. The internet tells me that when a contestant got voted off, they were told "Your wedding will still go on, but it may not be perfect." Ugh. Ew. There's so much that's wrong with that, it's scary.

Granted, both these shows win viewers because they're extreme. But the idea they capitalize on is that every bride wants to look perfect for her wedding day and they promote that there is a way to accomplish that. It's that idea that's inside every insecurity that makes brides feel like "oh, I should lose those pounds," or "I could never afford professional teeth whitening, but maybe I should buy some of those strips..." not by sending a positive message about cardiac or dental health, but through the threat of "you're going to look awful your wedding pictures if you don't do this." Which makes me mad. There's too much to be happy about when you're getting married to let messages of you're not pretty enough tear you down.  Not everybody has to join me on the Body Positive and Health at Every Size bandwagons, but I think every bride deserves to feel beautiful just as she is on her wedding day, without having to spend money to look "better," but it's hard to feel that way in our culture.

Mythbusting:
I was really worried with I got engaged that I wouldn't be able to find a wedding dress I liked, but the more I've looked at dresses online, the more I see that there's a whole world of plus size dresses, as well as dresses that look great on girls of all different heights. There are some gorgeous plus size wedding dresses out there these days, ranging from things I can afford to couture, and there are plus size trunk shows. I wish I could have gone to the one that The Curvy Fashionista reviewed -- from the pictures, it looks like it would have been awesome!

One of her trunk show pics. I love that all these ladies look happy!

I've been scouring the web for information about positive body image work specifically for brides, but there's not that much out there -- however, there are some great books and other sources of information on positive body image that apply to any time in a person's life. You can find books in a whole spectrum of perspectives, from more feminist texts like The Body Myth to a title on the subject published by Focus on the Family, Comfortable In Your Own Skin. For a quick web resource, I particularly like the tips given at the companion website to the book Our Bodies, Our Selves, especially the ones on mindfulness. Even just being mindful of the fact that I'm being exposed to a lot more negative pressure in bride-world than I am in regular-Meredith-world helps me evaluate my feelings more realistically when I start worrying about how I'm going to look in my wedding pictures.
But the biggest reason that I know this is a myth -- when a guy proposes, he's asking you to spend the rest of your life with him just as you are. Your man loves you, not "you with ears that stick out less" or "you that doesn't have thigh cellulite." I feel happy and blessed that my future husband loves me and thinks I'm hot stuff without having to change. And that's what it's all about.