Wedding Mythbuster: Myth #3

Wedding Myth #3: If you make ________ yourself, your wedding is going to be The Dreaded T Word.

Y'all know about The Dreaded T Word, right? To my Dad, it means "This adjective means it's a substance I can use to stick pieces of my ancient car back together, along with some coat hangers and duct tape." To my Granny, it means wearing jeans to work. To folks in wedding-world, it's a verbal shuriken.

It's not a nice word, but it's one of those words that people still think -- some of them keep it to themselves, some of them have the cajones to say it out loud, but, well... that there's a fightin' word.
DIY has come into a heyday in wedding-world. An extremely crafty bride-to-be could pretty much create an entire wedding by hand these days, and it seems like many weddings incorporate at least one handmade or semi-handmade product, whether it's invitations or reception decor or part of the wedding attire. But though wedding DIY has become pretty mainstream, it still doesn't float every guest's boat, and the craft-savvy bride may still be left wondering if Aunt Ermintrude is going to be offended by the knitted wrap she made to wear with her dress.
I know I sure do.
I had an awkward conversation with one of my bridesmaids over the fact that I'm not using real flowes -- or even silk ones -- at our wedding. I'm making my own out of fabric, but she was completely and totally horrified by this. At first, she didn't believe me, then said that I'd be bringing down the tone of the whole wedding and my homemade ones would show my lack of thought and effort behind the whole thing. I explained where I was coming from, and she let it go, but the experience really shook me. I'd just ordered my fabric to make them, but even as it was speeding toward my post office, I was starting to think that it was all a bad idea because now I was worried that my flowers would offend the world more than Janet Jackson's boob ever did.
Luckily, once I started working on them, my fears were put to rest when I saw how they were turning out. I realized I love the way they're going to look, Johnny likes them (and seems to be proud of me for them, which makes me happy beyond measure), no one in our immediate families has given me the shocked look* at the idea, and that all helped me calm 'er down and not care so much about what other folks may think. The whole experience made me realize that to DIY, you have to have a real desire to do it, a good sense of what you can commit to, and balls.



*the Shocked Look **

Mythbusting:
I think having the right attitude is essential to having success with your wedding DIY projects. They're not really something you can come up with and put together with ease in one fell swoop, so it takes a lot of perseverance just to get your finished product. I've already had a three-hour stretch where I cut up some of my flower fabric, realized that it wasn't going to do what I hoped it would do, and had to scrap that particular batch of materials. Even when you're going great guns on a project, things still take longer than you expect. It's important to evaluate what you can commit to as extensively as you can to start, then be prepared to stick with your projects through the long haul (and it doesn't hurt to have backup plans!).
And if you're going to put that much work and thought into a project, I'm finding that it also helps to get defensive of it, at least in your brain. These flowers have become my babies, and I ain't about to let anyone tear 'em down! No power in the 'verse can stop me! Taking up for yourself and your projects doesn't have to be aggressive -- it's kind of the same thing you have to do when standing up for any wedding decisions you make.
When people are staring at you like you've grown another head when you mention your shower-curtain-fabric table cloths, you can:

• Keep your response short. You don't have to justify your decisions to anyone who's not directly involved in the planning. The more you try to explain, the more invested you're going to feel in the argument, and that can just wear you out when your words sometimes fall on deaf ears.
• Show your excitement. Sometimes folks don't realize how their judgements sound until they see that you're excited and happy about a project.
• Show them some inspiration pictures. Seeing a similar project in pictures can help bridge the mental gap for someone who can't quite envision what you're thinking of in his or her brain.
• Remember that you're staying true to something that's you. You wouldn't be making something that didn't express who you and your fiance are -- keep your personal inspirations close to your heart and you'll remember why your projects are fun and exciting in the first place.
• If you're feeling truly ornery, you can always stare at them in silence. I need to grow some more DIY balls before I try this one.

  

  I need to grow a pair of DIY balls.

There are lots of great DIY resources out there these days, from the mainstream options like Martha Stewart Weddings to the DIY Bride website (which I love and is, unfortunately, down at the moment - but check out their Tumblr here!). There are also some great forums and websites full of brides who can inspire and advise you as they craft boldly onward.
Don't let the haters get you down -- go look at the masterpieces of other DIY brides, get inspired, get organized, get determined, and know that you'll be joining their ranks with pride!

** I thought Pippin would be an appropriate person to illustrate The Shocked Look because it's also the look that most people gave me when I mentioned having a very subtly Lord of the Rings themed wedding. Folks don't know what they're missing out on -- mallorn-leaf boutonnieres! Johnny's best man telling him "You have my axe!" Really, people. Party. Poopers. Fortunately, enough of the folks in the wedding party were into this idea that it may happen as a surprise anyway.